


the universal migraine

by nonamebut



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Oblivious Na Jaemin, matchmaking shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-06-24 15:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19726141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonamebut/pseuds/nonamebut
Summary: What is love?[ Fill for Prompt #333: "You should be a love guru Nana. You give really good relationship advices" Or fic in which Jaemin accidentally becomes nct's relationship counselor (he just wants everyone to be inlove and happy, okay) while remaining clueless about his own love life. Jeno can't believe how dense is his best friend. ]





	the universal migraine

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to be funny and vaguely referenced [this](https://youtu.be/DNZ5NXKtdxs?t=53s) early on in the fic. the actual content is not that important or relevant dw!! all you really need to know is that jaemin just can't connect the dots lmao

“You know,” Jaemin proclaims to the whole room when Jeno snatches his bottle away, “what I reaaaaally love?”

No one responds. Did everyone really just zone out on him already?

Jeno just takes a drink from the bottle and stares straight at him. Jaemin bites his lip, a bit flustered but mostly determined to salvage the conversation. At least someone’s listening, right?

“I just loooooooove — ” He is left hiccuping by himself when Jeno suddenly smiles at his dumb phone. Jaemin makes grabby hands at the bottle in Jeno’s grasp, but this dumb boy is too distracted by whoever’s in that dumb group chat to notice Jaemin at all.

He just wants to talk about that cute confession he eavesdropped on, okay? The confessor even made the effort to make a whole _banner_. Mostly to himself, Jaemin completes his train of thought aloud. “... I love love, okay?”

Chenle mumbles something that Jaemin vaguely registers as an English Twice lyric, but he can’t figure out what comes next through the haze of alcohol clouding his brain. Jaemin just repeats himself even louder.

_Pay attention to me_ , Jaemin thinks violently at his best friend of over a decade. _Just give my dumb drink back._

“Yeah, yeah, you say this all this time,” says Renjun from his spot on the floor, unimpressed and distracted by the notifications pinging from his own phone. “We get it.”

(The lack of enthusiasm doesn’t hurt as much coming from Renjun, if Jaemin’s being honest with himself.)

There’s a brief lull in the conversation which Jaemin can’t help; no one really has anything else to add. It’s not like it’s a secret, but Jaemin’s always privately pleased that everyone just gets how enamored he is with the idea of love, whether it be of the platonic, romantic, or whatever kind.

A boy full of love — that’s his brand. But his sillier side, the one that’s just a little bit too much of a romantic, always comes out on nights like this, when all seven of them gather on a free weekend at Jisung’s house and catch up over a couple of drinks.

The bluetooth speakers loop Donghyuck’s MJ playlist — which, currently, only consists of Thriller, Man in the Mirror, and two consecutive plays of Billie Jean — for the third time that night when Mark speaks up.

“But for real though,” he says into Donghyuck’s hair, “don’t you guys think Jaemin is like, some kind of love genius or something?”

“Noooo, don’t encourage him!” Donghyuck pinches Mark’s waist. What a bold statement, for someone who definitely owes his current relationship to Jaemin. “We can’t give him anything else to hold against us.”

Though everyone else in the room (and even some of the hyungs) would later look back at this moment in time as when shit started hitting the fan, Jaemin knew—knows—better. But this is the story that everyone else knows:

It’s Jeno sliding the bottle back Jaemin’s way, shining moon eyes watching Jaemin struggle with catching it before it topples off the table. In the background, Jisung’s yelling about the hyungs always making such a mess. His voice is probably caught in the snap Donghyuck’s taking, who somehow had the foresight to capture the legendary moment Jeno triggers the beginning of the end.

“You know, Nana, you’re really good at giving relationship advice!” Jeno says innocently, the light coming from the kitchen framing his face in a soft, yellow halo. “You should try being a love guru. Maybe you can even earn some extra change and buy that coffee maker you keep talking about!”

Jaemin grimaces through another gulp of beer. He doesn’t even like the taste that much, but he doesn’t mind much if Jeno and everyone else wants to drink together. Similarly, the suggestion to use his Powers for good and help get people together seems a lot more palatable when it comes from Jeno.

“Huh. That’s actually not a bad idea.”

Jisung sits up, his head leaving Jaemin’s lap abruptly. “Why do I feel like we just witnessed something we’re all about to, uh, majorly regret?”

Like the chaotic good Jaemin insists he is, Chenle laughs the hardest he has all week, patting Jisung’s knee as he says, “That’s what makes it more exciting!”

//

If you asked Jaehyun, the story probably would have started as an impromptu meeting at the Coffee Bean near Jaemin’s campus.

It’s only 10am but Jaemin already finds himself saying, “I’m a psych major, not a mind reader.” He glances at the counter, making sure Doyoung isn’t trying to spy on them before he slides the crumpled print outs of flower selections back Jaehyun’s way.

It’s a good thing Sejeong, the new part timer who goes to their rival college, has her shift today. She and Doyoung have been going on about some western album from the moment Jaemin set foot in the cafe.

“I don’t need to make all these decisions for you! Just be yourself, hyung.”

“I’m not asking you to take charge or anything.” Jaehyun slowly nudges a third cup of coffee down the table. “But you’re the only one I can turn to for this kind of thing. Everyone else would just make fun of me.”

“Ohhhh.” Jaemin tries to hold back a laugh, feeling a bit bad when he notices the unnatural slouch of Jaehyun’s shoulders.

Instead, Jaemin reminds himself that these kinds of secrets are hard to admit to oneself, much less confess to another person. “Okay, I get it. So you’re saying I could be your emotional support dongsaeng boy?”

“Yes!” Jaehyun snaps his fingers. He brings the flower print outs back. “So, would the roses be too much, or would—”

“Does Doyoung hyung even like roses?”

Freezing midrant, Jaehyun gives him a curious look that Jaemin doesn’t really know how to categorize. “Huh? What does Doyoung hyung have to do with any of this?”

“Aw, wait. Who is this for, again?”

Jaehyun kicks at the leg of Jaemin’s chair. “I thought you were listening! It’s for—” Jaehyun leans in and whispers in Jaemin’s ear “— Sicheng, obviously.”

It’s at this moment Jaemin makes eye contact with Jeno for the first time that day, with Jaehyun’s breath ghosting at his ear. Jeno’s too far away, studying at the opposite end of the cafe because “being too near Jaemin would be too distracting,” but Jaemin can imagine the surprised noise his best friend must be making. Jaemin shakes his head.

Jaehyun must notice their interaction because he snorts and crowds even closer, lingering. “You know what? I’m not that surprised you never figured it out.”

He gives Jaemin a weirder look before adding, “To be fair, when I found out, it was kind of a big epiphany moment. I felt pretty dumb afterwards.”

“Found out what?”

Jaehyun laughs. “Nah, nevermind. It’s nothing.”

Well, if it gets Jaehyun to smile a bit, then sure. Jaemin’s trying to come up with a nice way to tell him that being vague isn’t going to earn him any sympathy points with Sicheng, but then Jeno ends their future-boyfriend-counsel meeting prematurely. He suddenly materializes before them, pulling a chair between the two. “What’s nothing?”

It’s annoying how quickly Jaehyun goes from a Total Mess back to his calmer, self assured self. He even takes a chance to throw Jaemin under the bus, trying to distract Jeno as he flips his printouts over. “We were just talking about you!”

“No we weren't?” Jaemin rolls his eyes. Even though he wasn’t the one spilling his repressed love problems, he still feels like he’s been caught, his heart racing in his chest. Just to spite Jaehyun, he tells Jeno, “We were talking about his big ass crush on Winwin hyung.”

“Huh.” Jeno props his chin on his palm, and under the table he bumps his feet into Jaemin’s. “What's new, though?”

Huh, indeed. Jaemin taps the table absentmindedly, processing the information. If even Jeno knew about Jaehyun’s affections, it must have been really obvious.

Jeno somehow picks up whatever Jaemin’s feeling because he fills up the silence with a careless jab at Jaehyun’s predicament. “At this rate I bet even Doyoung hyung’s going to get an S-O before you do.”

“You’re just Doyoung biased.” Jaehyun points at Jeno a little too aggressively. “And Doyoung’s never going to be the one to confess first and you know it.”

“That’s because he’s shy,” says Jeno, and the tone of his voice reminds Jaemin of that English romance movie he watched with Mark and Donghyuck, back when they were still circling around each other.

They were being insufferably fond then, always stealing sickening glances at each other, but at least Jaemin came out of the experience with a new celebrity crush in the form of Keira Knightley.

Coincidentally, the sound of thunder resonates throughout the cafe, cutting through the conversations of the customers and employees. The movie reel in Jaemin’s head bleeds into the reality in front of him.

(He hadn’t even noticed it started raining until now.)

“At least hyung is not oblivious.”

“Ha,” Jaehyun says as his gaze slides from Jeno to Jaemin, “unlike some other people.”

“Are you trying to imply something?”

“You tell me, Dr. Phil.”

Jaemin turns to Jeno, who’s thankfully already looking at him. “Hey, how are you, by the way? What happened to your chem revision?”

“It’s... well, I’m making progress?” Jeno’s eye smile is back on full blast. “I thought I’d just take a quick break since I only have one more module to go.”

“That’s great! I’m really proud of you.”

Jeno makes another one of his soft puppy sounds; he’s probably followed Jaemin’s gaze across the cafe. “Oh, I left my stuff with Yeeun! It’s all good, she’ll guard my babies well.”

She waves enthusiastically when she notices both of them looking. The sweet smile on her face unnerves Jaemin just the slightest bit.

Yeeun is his best friend’s department senior, Jaemin reminds himself unnecessarily. Nothing to worry about there.

“Well!” It seems like Jaehyun is having the time of his life, because he starts laughing all of a sudden. “Jaemin-ah, we can just talk about our thing later, okay? I’ll just leave you guys to it.”

Jaemin’s about to tell him that it’s fine, that Jeno’s probably gonna get back to studying in a while anyway, when Doyoung’s voice booms through the cafe.

“Order for… Jeno?” Doyoung raises what’s probably Jaemin’s bajillionth serving of black coffee. “Why do you want such a strong drink? Are you _cramming_?!”

More giggles tumble from Jaehyun’s lips. “That’s definitely not Jeno’s coffee!”

It’s at this moment Jaemin realizes a few things.

1) Doyoung really is such a mom; who else in their friend group would question the ordering of a highly caffeinated drink nearing finals week? There’s also 2) Jaehyun’s way too casual, borderline unenthusiastic attitude around Doyoung that makes Jaemin question why he thought they had a thing for each other in the first place, and 3) the embarrassment that comes from introducing himself to Sejeong-from-the-other-college with the wrong name.

He could have sworn he called himself Nana when he went to order from her.

“Jaemin stop calling yourself Jeno challenge?” Jaehyun turns to the real Jeno, who looks way too fucking delighted. “Faaaaailed!” they crow.

//

Jaemin only starts to regret drinking so much the night before when he makes his daily trek to the amphitheater.

Today he promised to meet Jeno at around noon, which is unfortunately the only free block of time they share. The heat of the sun beating down on him only makes his head throb even more.

It’s more bearable once he settles between Jeno and, much to Jaemin’s surprise, Doyoung. They picked a nice spot, covered by the shade of one of the taller trees planted nearby.

Jeno greets Jaemin with a press of a can of iced coffee to his neck, while Doyoung fusses over him and tugs at his backpack. When all their stuff is positioned safely at their feet, Jeno and Doyoung give Jaemin time to catch his breath.

By the time Jaemin zones back in to their conversation, it’s to be clowned.

“Remember that time you guys had a crush on your homeroom teacher?” Doyoung looks so smug, reaching out to smoosh Jeno’s cheeks like they’re free real estate.

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about?”

“Even I remember that,” Jeno insists, finally turning away from Doyoung. His faded converse are a compass pointing north, towards Jaemin. “You were going on and on about her, Jaemin. ‘She’s my first and last’—”

With pursed lips, Jaemin cuts Jeno off with a, “I don’t remember that at all.” He means for both of them: as far as Jaemin can remember, Jeno has never shown any actual interest in any woman ever, not even this mythical homeroom teacher.

Maybe Taeil’s throwaway comment about him being a little too obvious really is valid, because Doyoung leans in to disrupt a forming pout with a pinch to Jaemin’s cheek. “Well, if you don’t remember it, then maybe it really didn’t happen after all! You don’t strike me as the type to forget your first love.”

Jeno laughs cutely. “Yeah, our Jaemin’s a sap.”

“Wahhhh.” This time, Jaemin tries really hard to keep from rolling his eyes, or scoffing. “You really like me that much, huh?”

Jeno sticks his tongue out. While Jeno’s undeniable affinity (and unfortunate allergy) with cats is very much a well worn topic of discussion, in this moment Jaemin is abruptly reminded of a samoyed — though he’d never admit that aloud.

“You liked me first.”

Jaemin doesn’t bother replying to Jeno and instead lets Doyoung be Doyoung.

“Alright, alright,” their hyung says with a vague, waving gesture, as if he could physically cut through whatever disturbance he feels in the atmosphere. “Anyway, I decided to third wheel you guys today because I needed a favor.”

Strange. Usually, Doyoung would bug Donghyuck or just Jeno for favors.

Doyoung snorts. The accusing sound makes Jaemin think of Taeil’s useless advice again. “It’s because only you can help me. Oh, great Psychology God, please have mercy on us mere, mere mortals.”

Jeno giggles again, but if it really has come to this… now’s not the time for any silly business. “Jeno, shut up.”

“I didn't even say —”

“So why are you coming to me, then, when you could go to Donghyuck instead? He’s a psych kid, too.” Jaemin considers Doyoung with a pointed once over. “Aren’t you closer to Taeil hyung, as well?”

Taeil is their general friend group’s eldest, and also Jaemin and Donghyuck’s closest department senior. Knowing this makes Jaemin all the more suspicious.

All of a sudden Doyoung gets his arms around Jaemin’s neck, in a way eerily similar to how Renjun often chokes whoever messes with him. Jaemin swallows.

“Those two, and I cannot stress this enough —” and it’s at this part Doyoung tightens his hold and Jaemin starts swatting at Jeno’s arm for help “ — shall never know of what I’m about to tell you.”

“Well, technically, Taeil hyung’s bound to find out, anyway?” Jaemin spares Jeno a grateful glance as Doyoung starts to pull away.

Punctuating each word with an obnoxious clap, Jaemin cries, “Find! Out! What!”

Doyoung proceeds to make Jaemin’s week, hell, even his entire month in a single breath. Apparently Doyoung heard of his promising business (you know, the matchmaking love guru one?) and wants to be Jaemin’s very first customer.

Comedy... gold, right? Except it doesn’t stop there, and apparently, he’s being totally, completely serious. “I’ll even give you a great testimonial and everything. You know me! It could give your business the boost it needs.”

Doyoung’s a bit of an infamous reviewer, known around campus for his short, curt, but highly insightful comments. His word would, in fact, do wonders for his business if this goes well.

Wait — business? Last time Jaemin checked, he was still considering Jeno’s suggestion. Who’s going around telling people he’s planning on playing Cupid... when he’s not even ready?!

“And who knows?” Doyoung seems amused, though Jaemin can’t seem to guess why. “Maybe you’ll get a little something more out of your little charity work, too.”

From anyone else, the implication that Jaemin’s in the dark about anything would invite his inner demon to come out and plan some passive aggressive comeback, but it doesn't sting as much coming from Kim Doyoung. Jaemin turns to his best friend for further input.

“So, I know Doyoung hyung best!” Jeno’s eyes simply shine. “So if you need, you know, data or insider information about hyung, you can ask me.”

“Donghyuck is an idiot,” adds Doyoung fondly, “so you can probably trick him to help you out with Taeil, probably.”

Jaemin takes a dramatic sip of his coffee; it’s not like any of them would know the can is just about empty.

“So…” Jeno’s further attempt is, admittedly, kind of cute but mostly pitiable. “We’d be like a team! What do you say?”

So what does Jaemin say to being proposed such a business deal? After being told that the Kim Doyoung, the most eligible bachelor type student in the entire International Studies department, has a big ass crush on the weirdest senior he’s ever known?

“Hell yeah!” Jaemin’s already come up with so much possible blackmail material he can hold against at least five separate people after he finishes the job. “What’s in it for me, though? I’m not just taking lip service!”

//

Mark would tell you that everything started going to shit not because of the day spent with Jaehyun, when that lightning of a memory struck through that cafe.

Instead, everything is a result of the quiet crawl of a realization that snuck in without warning, cat eyes flashing in the warm night.

“Hey Jaemin,” says Mark, wearing his trademarked tired smile. He haphazardly shoves at his backpack to make space for the younger boy on the bench. “How was class?”

“It was pretty tiring, but it was surprisingly fun.” Jaemin stretches his arms in an unforgiving straight line over his head, flopping his hands around a bit. He wishes he could transmit some of his energy to Mark somehow; his hyung generally enjoys being the busy bee he is but today he looks a little bit off.

“You know, Hyuck really pulled all the stops so that we could reach the target amount of participants for today’s experiment! You should have seen his aegyo, it was hilarious.”

As he does in response to pretty much everything ever — but most especially things related to one Lee Donghyuck — Mark laughs, accenting each giggle with a slap to his thigh. “Ah, yeah! I saw him on Mina’s story.”

Jaemin wraps an arm around Mark’s shoulders before he can go off on a rambly tangent on how cute his boyfriend is. “Anyway, enough about us, how about you,” Jaemin starts, “how was your day, hyung?”

“Mine wasn’t so hot.” The voice comes from their feet, and Jaemin nearly jumps out of his seat when a set of eyes peek out of the pile of hoodies and notebooks scattered all over the floor.

“Hyung?” Jaemin gingerly takes the record book covering what seems to be Taeyong’s face. “What happened?”

Mark nudges at Jaemin’s shoulder with his own, whispers, “He thinks Kun’s mad at him again. Can you do your magic on him, please?”

Long before Jeno commented on Jaemin’s inclination towards Guru activities, Jaemin was already the one people turned to, a soundboard on all things human. Just a while ago Yuta dragged Jaemin out to help him buy some present for Taeil, and after that Jaemin met with Sicheng and Renjun to talk about how to get Jaehyun out of his dorm room before he studied himself to death.

All in all, he’s been asked weirder, more awkward things.

“Hey, you’re the psych student.” Taeyong sniffles, and Jaemin wonders if this is what Mark deals with every time midterms week rolls around. “Is there something wrong with me?”

Jaemin sighs. “First of all, I’ve taken only a few terms worth of psychology courses. I can’t even, uh, diagnose you or anything?”

From somewhere to their left, Soobin from the cats association is going about his usual rounds. The campus cats flock to him, already knowing he’s got food for them.

“Secondly,” Jaemin says as he waves Soobin over, an idea quickly forming in his mind, “speaking as your beloved dongsaeng — who you have taken very good care of! — I think you’re perfectly fine.”

“So why do I feel so... so like this?”

To Soobin’s credit, he doesn’t look too alarmed once he’s come close enough to notice Taeyong under all the school supplies. “Um, I’m not sure why you’re feeling so sad, but maybe giving Mooncake a few pets would make you feel better?”

“I’ll give it a try.” When Taeyong sits up, all the papers and binders scatter across the floor even more. It’s a pretty warm night with barely any wind, so no one makes a move to collect any of them.

Jaemin pulls out his phone and catches up on the 00 group chat once Taeyong cuddles up with Mooncake, cooing at the cat as if he never had a meltdown in the first place.

(There’s a strange feeling of whiplash when Taeyong looks up from the ball of fur and smiles dopily at Jaemin. “Oh, is that Ryan?” He asks, pointing at Jaemin’s phone case. “That’s a really cute design.”

What happened to your feelings of doom and angst, Jaemin wants to scream. Did a dumb cat really take away all that pain in an instant? _Make it make sense!_ )

When Mark gets distracted by the cat as well, Jaemin presses his side to the older boy’s. He makes himself comfortable, feeling the rumbling of Mark’s voice as Mark and Soobin start talking about the event the psych department’s already started planning for next year’s Valentines.

  


☀chan sent an image

pet me yeonjun: I think the one you sent earlier is cuter! (👍😍20)

f*rry #3: But why? What's this for

the other chaewon: check your snap!

X:10 PM

breadjin: omgggg the prof is wilding today i think siyeons CRYING

breadjin sent a video

gowon 🦋: It’s just one question I just don’t understand why your prof is making such a big deal out of this???

breadjin: RIGHT and its just LAB so why tf is she getting mad about stuff we didnt learn from LEC

☀woo: See, I told you guys not to take her class!! look where that got you!!!

feather©hae: to be fair, you heard it from chanhee oppa

(yang)²: yikesss

nana: @breadjin when will you and jeno get dismissed~ im getting bored (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

  


“Hey, isn’t that Taeil hyung?” Mark points at a figure coming out from the nearby liberal arts building. “Hyung!”

“Hi guys,” Taeil says, scrolling through what’s probably his Twitter timeline. It’s around this time Yuta livetweets his third Naruto rewatch, even though it’s only Taeil who finds his reactions hilarious. “Wait, Jaemin-ah? What are you doing at the engineering walk?”

Jaemin nods at his senior, feeling a little out of depth without Donghyuck there to buffer the conversation. “Just giving these guys a visit before I pick up Jeno.”

“Isn’t his lab supposed to be over by now?” asks Mark.

“I tagged Hyunjin about it just a while ago.” Jaemin tilts his screen in Mark’s general direction, the blaring light of his day mode messenger blinding several pairs of eyes.

“About Jeno…” Taeil squints at the group chat. “Aren’t you a little too obvious?”

Though nobody asked him, Soobin looks thoughtful, stroking through the fur of the white cat on his lap. “I think that’s his peg, though?”

Though it definitely boosts Jaemin’s ego, knowing that many people think he knows exactly what he’s doing, it also makes him pretty curious, because, well. In this case he actually has no idea what the fuck everyone’s talking about.

He’s not about to come clean or anything, though.

“You guys are being so dramatic. I think I’m doing just fine, thanks.”

“Huh.” Taeil leans in, making eye contact with Soobin then Jaemin, before whispering conspiratorially. “Maybe you really are fine with everything the way it is. But I bet if you just thought about why all this —” Here, Taeil gestures around him, at Taeyong who is now babbling about Kun again and at Mark who blushes furiously after being caught staring at his lockscreen of his boyfriend “ — gives you such a headache, you’d figure out who among us probably thinks of you as a total hypocrite.”

Huh. “That’s harsh,” says Soobin.

Jaemin wants to agree, but something in the way Taeil smiles serenely as he waves goodbye is just. Ominous, almost foreboding.

//

Too distracted by the prospect of hanging out with the gang at Jisung’s house tonight, Jaemin doesn’t realize he’s being called until Donghyuck actually pinches his neck.

“God, okay.” Jaemin shoves at Donghyuck’s armchair, and while the screeching sound of its legs skidding across the floor would normally make heads turn, all their coursemates are way too used to their antics to do anything about it.

“I just wanted to know how much you sucked,” Donghyuck says.

Jaemin blinks. “What?”

“On the _test_ , dummy. How much S-U-C—”

“Ahhhh, okay, wait.” He glances down at the results from one of the psych tests they took the other week and finds what Donghyuck’s talking about, his score on the trait Donghyuck so very maturely abbreviated. “I SUC’ed big time....”

Donghyuck cackles, the demon. “I _knew_ it.”

“It just means ‘succorance,” Jaemin tries not to trip over the English term. Reading aloud the key that their professor passed around, he says, “It’s to have one’s needs satisfied by someone, wanting to be loved, nursed, helped, forgiven and consoled.”

“What did I say? It’s you. Your defining personality trait.”

In truth, Donghyuck’s really the only person who would first describe Jaemin this way. Normally, people would say things like this: Jaemin’s so full of love, with so much care and softness in his heart, all this sympathy to be given. He’s a natural born caretaker.

And yeah, they wouldn’t be wrong, but Donghyuck wouldn’t be wrong, either.

The truth is that Jaemin is a little too in love with love. Most people see it as him being a hopeless romantic, but it’s people like Donghyuck who see it as it really is. A great, quiet need to be loved in return, to be showered with as much attention and honesty as Jaemin can give.

“It’s not a bad thing, by the way,” Donghyuck adds quickly when the silence grows too long. “I think it’s cute how your kink for domesticity keep jumping out whenever we take tests for class.”

Jaemin kicks at Donghyuck’s chair again. “Yeah, I guess?” But it’s not like he didn’t already know about his desire for ultimate reciprocation. Considering their test results, he says, “Although it would be cool if we took, like, an ideal type test or something. We probably have those, right?”

If their professor taught them how to measure compatibility, well — now that would be useful. Then Jaemin wouldn’t have spent the last week trying to convince Renjun that Yukhei really _was_ into him, no homo included; Renjun can believe in aliens while being such a skeptic for the more obvious things.

“Did you know I had to make a hundred plus slide powerpoint, filled with all these citations and derpy candid photos of Yukhei, just to get Yukren to fucking sail?” Jaemin cries.

When Donghyuck only stares at him in what seems to be disbelief, he continues babbling on. “I didn’t know how else to convince him to make a move, okay!”

Jaemin pouts, considers another angle. Maybe if he could get Donghyuck to agree with him, their combined charisma could convince their professor to add some kind of compatibility test to their curriculum. “It could be fun for us to take those tests too, I guess. I mean, I bet you’d end up with a profile that is 127% Mark hyung.”

“... First of all, I totally would. Get Mark hyung in that test, I mean.” The blush that spreads starting from Donghyuck’s ears makes Jaemin coo internally. “Secondly — you do know that those kinds of ideal type tests don’t matter, right? No matter what score I got on that test, I’d just interpret all my results to match Mark. We’re literally psych majors, aren’t you supposed to know this?”

Jaemin doesn’t appreciate the nonsequiteur, so he throws one back just to be petty. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how you use literally.”

“Remember that meta analysis from social psyc?” Donghyuck ignores the weak jab and just drags his chair back towards Jaemin, crowding even closer.

“You know you do. I bet you even referenced it in your dumb Yukren powerpoint.” Jaemin did. “So think about it: that, maybe, this ideal type you’re imagining? You already somehow fit it to someone already… maybe this particular someone is already giving you all the love and attention you deserve!”

“Huh,” Jaemin smirks. “So you’re admitting that I do deserve all the love and attention I want? That’s pretty gay.”

This time, Donghyuck is the one who shoves at Jaemin’s armchair, the scratching noise coming from where the chair skids across the floor just barely drowning out the sound of Donghyuck’s agonized screams. “I give up, what the fuck!”

//

Now, if you ask Jeno, you’ll get a completely different timeline altogether. In fact, rather than a timeline, it’s more like a map?

If anything, it’s not like Jaemin would know any better, either. To Jaemin this would just be like any other map, eyes skipping over the lines and markers out of familiarity. Only Jeno would know to hold the aging thing to the light, invisible arrows inked around every moment leading up to — well. 

If you asked Jeno, he’d start telling the tale, the journey, this way. Faded in the corner, there’s that time they first met as chubby kids, after the Lee family had just moved into the street and the Nas were the only neighbors they had with children the same age.

Jeno was so serious, even then, and Jaemin had been the only one to stretch out a hand and tell him to lighten up, to have fun. Jeno was too shy to say anything when he grasped Jaemin’s hand, which shook more than his own.

A tiny scatter of blots leading away from their childhood homes symbolize them growing up together, making mistakes, sharing (then not sharing) interests. Jaemin pushing Jeno to join the dance club — but only if Jaemin, who Jeno had secretly caught staring at the sign up sheet just as much as he did, joined too — and Jeno crying over his first ever failing grade, with Jaemin comforting him the only way he knew how: a wet kiss on the forehead, then a wobbly peck to his cheek, a last lingering brush of lips to damp eyelids.

There’s a delicate swirl forming near the center, the moment Jeno figured it out. It’s Jeno, sniffling and cradling a cat under his damp clothes, and Jaemin, opening his door wide open and offering shelter from the pouring rain. Where the swirl gets thicker, it’s Jaemin catching a cold instead, hiding his coughs into sweater paws and bright smiles, and Jeno being the only one to notice the next day at school.

Everything leads back to the same old conclusion, the same destination. Jeno’s feet are a compass pointing up, up, up.

And if you follow the arrows, there it is —

//

Jaemin really just wants to go home already. But he had promised to help Doyoung tonight, and he’s not about to go back on his word. Even Jeno is counting on him to get this right, so he can’t let everyone down.

Leading the way down the familiar road to Jisung’s house, Jaemin takes a deep breath and runs through everything one more time.

The target is with him, so that’s one thing settled. Behind Jaemin, Taeil and Donghyuck are chattering about some professor who got a really creepy anonymous note from a student. Only one of them is aware of what’s about to happen.

There’s securing the location, Jisung’s house, then making sure Doyoung is safely inside it before Taeil gets there. All of this is also fine.

Then there’s the confession itself, which, well, Jaemin can’t really help with. Doyoung insisted on writing his own little monologue even after Jaemin offered the notes he took with Jeno whenever they spied on Taeil together. (Which is a shame, really, because while they waited for Taeil to do anything useful they wrote a bunch of funny dad jokes to break the ice.)

But just in case, he even got Donghyuck to help him make a very cohesive slideshow presentation should Taeil not accept Doyoung right away. He hasn’t opened the slideshow since Donghyuck only finished it tonight, but he knows how thorough Donghyuck is with research so he’s not that worried.

Renjun owes him for that time he got Yukren to sail, so inside Jisung’s house there is a really nice and cute confession poster for Taeil. (Actually, Jaemin doesn’t know if it’s particularly cute or nice, but he trusts Renjun’s artistic judgement even without looking at the finished artwork.)

“We’re here,” Donghyuck’s voice pulls Jaemin back to reality. “Taeil hyung, would you do the honors?”

“Wait, what?”

Taeil opens the door without warning and yells into the house. “Jaemin’s here, kids!”

Donghyuck pushes Jaemin through the door way, all sharp elbows and knee jabs, and all of a sudden they’re in Jisung’s backyard, greeted by a lot of friendly faces.

The first thing Jaemin notices is that Doyoung is definitely here, but his arm is very suspiciously wrapped around a girl who he’s definitely seen somewhere before. He’s standing with her to the side, far from the center where they planned the whole confession to play out.

Instead, standing at the center is, well, his best friend.

Jaemin stumbles forward after Donghyuck pushes him one last time. Someone catcalls in the background, and from the corner of Jaemin’s eye he sees Yuta — _Yuta?!_ — clapping and cheering and Taeil shutting him up with a lingering — okay, get _this!_ — kiss.

But that’s not the most shocking thing about how this is all playing out. Jaemin then gapes at the obnoxious collage of him and Jeno hanging between the two trees that tower over Jisung’s house, the cheesy but charming banner very obviously the handiwork of one tiny Aries artist.

His gaze goes down to the projector set up underneath the banner, showing the title page of what is definitely Donghyuck’s slideshow: Why Na Jaemin Should Wake The Fuck Up And Date Lee Jeno: A Comprehensive Study and Meta Analysis.

Jaemin’s eyes trail down down down, to his silly best friend and his silly smile. The nervous tug to Jeno’s lips almost makes Jaemin’s heart break.

The flowers Jeno is holding look strangely familiar. Jaemin flashes back to that day at Coffee Bean, the memory striking through his mind, a lightning shower of flower print outs and unsolicited opinions.

As if on cue, someone coughs to Jaemin’s left, and there Jaehyun is, giving Jaemin a thumbs up.

Even some of Jaemin’s blockmates are here, all holding various things he likes. There’s Hyunjin holding onto the biggest Ryan plushie he’s ever seen, and over here is Sunwoo carrying a dark mass of a pillow that resembles a coffee bean.

The fact that they’re all here makes Jaemin realize what really was happening whenever Jeno would get dismissed from class too “late.”

You can ask Jaehyun, or Mark, or Taeil, or Donghyuck. You can even ask Jeno what he thinks started it all.

But it doesn’t really matter where Jaemin and Jeno’s tale starts, because the important bit is how it ends. As debatable as their origin story is, this is the conclusion everyone else knows:

It’s Jeno holding out the flowers for Jaemin to take, shining moon eyes watching Jaemin struggle to hold the surprisingly heavy bouquet. In the background, Jisung’s yelling about the hyungs always making everything such a dramatic production. His voice is probably caught in the snap Donghyuck’s taking, who somehow had the foresight to capture the legendary moment Jeno triggers the ending of a long winded chapter.

“You know, Nana, for someone who’s so good at giving relationship advice, you’re not so good at applying it to yourself.” Jeno says innocently, the light coming from the house framing his face in a soft, yellow halo. “But that’s okay! I was thinking — maybe I could help you with that. You don’t need to think so much, uh, if you want to be with me. I’ll just do what I’m doing now — tell you how I feel, without holding anything back, so you won’t misinterpret anything.”

Anything Jeno suggests always sounds a lot more palatable, so maybe this isn’t such a bad idea. But there’s still too much for Jaemin to fully unpack. “So you’re saying you want to be my boyfriend because you think no one else can be with me?”

“I mean, I hope you’re not thinking of this as — as charity work, or something. Please consider my heart seriously!” Jeno bows suddenly, giving him a whole ninety degrees of culturally ingrained respect.

“To rephrase what you said,” he mumbles, still looking at the ground, “I think no one else can match you better than me. I like you because you, Na Jaemin, are _it_ for me, and I want to become that person for you, too.”

“Huh.” The paper holding the flowers together crinkles in Jaemin’s grip. “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

Jaemin is suddenly pulled into a warm, soft hug — from a big, cute Samoyed puppy, a tiny voice in Jaemin’s mind declares — and it muffles a harsh comment that probably comes from Jisung. “I hope that we haven’t just witnessed something we’re all about to majorly regret.”

Jaemin jumps a bit in Jeno’s hold when there’s a sudden, loud cackle (Chenle?), but Jeno only pulls him in even closer, tightens his grip. “That’s what makes it more exciting!”

(It’s been an hour since the confession but some things still don’t make sense.

“Listen,” Jaemin hisses, “I might not be a math god like Yukhei hyung is, but I know when shit just doesn’t add up.”

They all watch Doyoung, that familiar girl, Taeil, and Yuta talk to each other on the other side of the kitchen.

Jeno, as always, tries to be the voice of reason. He squeezes Jaemin’s hand and says, “From what we know for sure, SS Doil just pretended for my sake. Yuil is the actual ship that’s sailing, and Doyoung hyung never liked Taeil hyung in the first place.”

When Doyoung leans in to give the girl a quick peck on the cheek, Jeno and Donghyuck mime throwing up. Johnny, on the other hand, merely narrows his eyes.

“Wait, I think I know her. Isn’t she dating Doyoung’s blockmate?”

Taeyong makes a soft noise of disbelief. “Nayoungie? I would know if that was her, and that’s definitely not her. Also, she’s lesbian!”

“Oh my god?!” crows Johnny. “It’s just the make up, I swear it is Nayoung! What hurts most is that I thought she was in a committed relationship? I heard Chungha was going to propose to her after graduation?!”

Burying his face in Mark’s shoulder, Donghyuck groans dramatically. “Nooooo, Johnny hyung, Taeyong hyung was talking about the other Nayoung! Kim Nayoung, the one dating Sejeong-from-the-other-college!”

They all shut up when Doyoung tears his eyes away from his girlfriend? Friend? He gives them the sternest look they’ve ever seen him give.

Jaemin groans. “My head hurts just thinking about it. Let’s not talk about it anymore!”)

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it this far, thank you so much for giving my work a chance! if you are the prompter, i hope i was able to give your cute idea justice.


End file.
